Something I’ve been thinking about...

Dating is such a game. One that I’m not ready to delve back in to. What are the rules of dating in 2010? There are so many new things available that weren’t there last time I dated.. no I’m not old.. technology has advanced.. rapidly! Facebook, IM, twitter, chat, text messaging…. I seriously need a Dating for Dummies 2010. Does that exist? Could someone please write one for me? Maybe there’s a class.

My brother (who is awesome) told me recently that a girl had asked him out via Facebook chat and he was pissed. He didn’t think it was cool. What is normal asking out behavior? I really have no idea. I wouldn’t have the faintest idea if it’s normal or not. What’s wrong with picking up the phone? If you have something to say, an email or chat is nice, but isn’t it nice to hear someone’s voice? Skype with live stream is better than being asked out via chat. Unless, it’s someone you don’t want to have call you. Maybe that’s the real problem. Just because you are “facebook” friends doesn’t mean that you are real friends. I heard someone once say to a friend, “Can I facebook you?” Their response was, “Sure, we can be “facebook” friends.” FB can help you get to know someone, or just be another notch on the belt. I’ve got soooo many friends- look how cool I am. I originally thought that I could get away with only having my real friends be my fb friends, then I realized that I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings (unless they really annoy me). I’ve had to hide a few people because I don’t want to read five times a day about their work out. Yes, you are buff… I don’t care. People probably feel that way about me.. I always want to post what yummy treat I have just devoured. The other problem, I suspect, is that you don’t always want to give your phone number to some stranger who may never stop texting you. LOL… I guess facebook in this sense is an in-between, to check that person out to see if they are normal enough to date. We’ve all got that friend who just can’t help post about how lonely they are, how sad they are. Those posts just scream.. run!

I admit it, the prospect of dating scares me. Not sure that I’ll ever be ready. Just want to have fun without it being complicated. I’m hoping that I can just go do lots of fun, exciting things full of adrenaline with great people and never realize that they are dates. Denial sounds like a good place right now…
Random pic of me... hate blogging without pics!

An Ode to My House

Dearest house … I really like you and will miss you…

Thanks for hosting parties, housing my babies when they were little, keeping the elements off of our heads, giving us someplace to feel safe and the opportunity to play and be silly. I love the dirt in the front yard. Flowers grow their like they were meant to.

..but here are a few things I didn’t like so you have time to improve before someone else moves in..

-master bath tub is too long for normal shower curtain rods so had to make my own- fell on my head a few times- ouch! -Weird cracked window –inside panel only with gross condensation build up between panels. -pretty sure a few lights have shorts because all the light bulbs magically go out at the same time every few months (esp. if a door gets slammed- which happens frequently with 2 little ones). -The trees need to grow bigger so the neighborhood kids stop pulling them down. Hated how my quakie died last year. –The time I tried to open the front door and the handle fell off on the other side of the door trapping me in the house. Now there are different locks on the front door vs the garage. –The way the magic Gnomes always undid the wiring for the sprinkler system so I’d have to strip and rewire it Every year. -The piece of siding that came off the house and I can’t find where it goes.. lol.. -Dirt in the backyard won't grow anything! The garden was always a bust!

Brayden's 7th Birthday Sleepover

It seems that when my kids have their birthdays, its a party that lasts for at least a week. You have a friends party, a family party, a school party, and then go to Toys R Us to spend the money they received.

Brayden had an all boys Lego Sleepover. I didn't really know how to host a lego birthday party and they don't sell Lego party supplies- trust me, I looked. I made my invitations look like a lego brick. Attempted to make a Lego brick cake and set Brayden's massive tub of Legos in the middle of the family room. The boys dumped it out and built for hours! Brayden opened his gifts which were almost evenly divided into Star Wars toys and Bionicles. The boys took turns playing with the new toys. I overheard my nephew Cody ask to have a toy from another boy- who said no. Then Cody responded by saying, "I'm going to follow you around until you give it up!" And he did!


We then had movie night. I'd rented a few movies for the occasion but hadn't put much thought into what the boys were and were not allowed to watch at home. One kid wasn't allowed to see the Harry Potter movies, one wasn't allowed to see GI Joe. That was 2 out of the 3 movies I'd rented. Luckily none of them had see Bionicle all the way through. I put out the boys sleeping bags and they watched Bionicle, Duplo Pirates, Nine, (which was too scary to fall asleep during) and Holes (which put the last 3 asleep at around 2 am). Of course I didn't feel like I could fall asleep until I knew they were out cold and the tv was off. I'm going to have to get over that...


All in all, it went really well. Most of the boys got grouchy an hour before their parents came to pick them up- but that just means they had a Really good time. It was most of their first friend sleepovers.

Other things I heard the boys say that I thought was funny-
Grant to me after I brought him a bowl of cereal- "I don't like milk in my cereal."
Caleb said to Brayden, "...for that guy you are building for me." Brayden- "I'm not building him for you. Build your own!"










Brayden's birthday is on Valentine's Day. His sleepover was Friday to Saturday then we did another little family party on Sunday. Grandma Peterson gave Brayden some new pants because he is always tearing his jeans in the knees! Yes, he is goofy!

Invictus

This is my favorite poem. I had it memorized in high school and I think I even wrote my own response to it. I would look for it if I didn't think it was already lost in a sea of Uhaul boxes. I came across Elder Whitney's response to Henley which is really cool. Definitely not where my head was when I was a teenager. Isn't time and perspective a wonderful thing???

The Captain of the Soul- Invictus by William E. Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

The Soul's Captain [The Answer]
by Elder Orson F. Whitney of the Quorum of the Twelve

Art thou in truth? Then what of him
Who bought thee with his blood?
Who plunged into devouring seas
And snatched thee from the flood?
Who bore for all our fallen race
What none but him could bear.
The God who died that man might live,
And endless glory share?
Of what avail thy vaunted strength,
Apart from his vast might?
Pray that his Light may pierce the gloom,
That thou mayest see aright.
Men are as bubbles on the wave,
As leaves upon the tree.
Thou, captain of thy soul, forsooth
Who gave that place to thee?
Free will is thine — free agency
To wield for right or wrong;
But thou must answer unto him
To whom all souls belong.
Bend to the dust that head "unbowed,"
Small part of Life's great whole!
And see in him, and him alone,
The Captain of thy soul

Little Details

In order to find yourself, are you willing to lose yourself???

This has been a really hard week which makes me look at myself and question why? It’s natural and healthy to question why, to overanalyze small details that should be insignificant but at times are huge. This week I didn’t have my kids. Sure, I didn’t have the typical chaos that surrounds us and envelops us to the point we feel like we’re never sitting down long enough to put on our shoes… with appointments, school pick up and drop off, finding sitters for when I’m in school, shopping, meetings and my Very favorite- last minute showings of my house (its for sale in case you didn’t see the sign because you are blind or live far away).

I’ve come to the decision that I don’t like my own company all that much. Let me explain… I do enjoy a lot of things by myself- cleaning listening to blaring angry music, reading books- apparently what I have done all week. I can totally eat in a restaurant alone and enjoy the food- but of course I always go somewhere that has something I already love. But I’ve been coming home to 2 adorable, sweet, kind hearted and thoroughly loud children. I’m used to having a noisy home. Full of laughter… don’t you love the sound of happy children!?! They aren’t perfect. They love to tease each other which often leads to yelling and eventually tears- but it’s really great because I’m not perfect either. We’re a good match.

I just don’t really know how to be on my own. I know how to be a single parent. That was my life on and off the last year and a half. I just haven’t figured out how to be by myself and be happy. There’s lots of great hobbies I would love to take up- but they take money and I’m still looking for a job. Maybe in a few months… Part of it is probably that I’m still encircled with lots of change. Maybe after I’m working & move I’ll be less pre-occupied with the details and will be able to relax a little more. Doubtful 

Apparently I don’t know how to cook for 1. Everything I make comes out huge. I made French toast for myself the other morning and had it for leftovers the next day- and there’s still more in the fridge. I just successfully made my first meal for 1 tonight. Perogies and caramelized onions- ok I confess, they may have been well done onions- just between you and me! As I pulled out the sour cream from the fridge I couldn’t help but laugh because it’s the 24 oz family size. I doubt me, myself & I could eat THAT much sour cream! I need to buy the little pint sizes. Old habits…

I’ve had several full time moms tell me how much they envy my Part Time Mommyness. Sure, I have the freedom, every other week, to go and do whatever, whenever I want. At first I could tell everyone wanted to keep me busy- I had a Really full Activities Calendar. But this week hasn’t been that way. (Mostly my own choice) I’ve got my first Bio Exam and yet here I am procrastinating away the evening…. The perks have been that I’ve actually taken naps this week! Woo Hoo! And hour long showers. Yeah- other mom’s should be jealous! But the best part is that on Saturday after I dropped my kids off, I cleaned my house- and guess what? You guessed it! It’s still clean!

It’s not all that way though. I really hate how quiet the house gets. Which is why my iPod is on a lot! I miss the snuggles, pensive questions from Brayden and my lil’ vein pusher Hailey. I’ve always considered myself a fairly patient mom in the past but Now- it’s like a hundred times so. I appreciate the time I have with them- I try to make things fun while still retaining structure and routine. They are definitely the best thing I’ve ever done.

That takes me to my Bio class. UGH. I keep waiting for it all to click, pull together into something beautiful and fantastic. My professor is such a cute lady- and she keeps promising that it will get better. I just keep thinking that I’d rather be taking the world’s hardest math class or physics than this Bio class. I am seriously doubting my career choice right now… we’ll see if I pass or fail my exam…

Maybe I should start over from scratch… where is scratch?

Inspiration

- No man or woman is worth your tears, & the one who is, won't make you cry.

- Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

- A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand & touches your heart.

- The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can' t have them.

-Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

-To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

- Don't waste your time on someone, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

- Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

- Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

-There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting & just be more careful about who you trust next time around...

-Make yourself a better person & know who you are before you try & know someone else & expect them to know you.

-Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.